Over -Thoughts

It was my over infatuation,
The instant feel,
It was the excitement and life…
Coursing through my veins.

This high,
This euphoria,
This feeling of infinite power and embodiment,
Of a once forgotten immortal energy…

Savouring it, but not to the last drop…
My fear of others’ chastisement and words of judgment on my choice…

Craving it secretly,
On my own, never outloud…
For fear that someone would learn of my new addiction…

Play scenarios out in my head,
Overthink the way it could go…
And you know how it is with thinking …

Starts off so sweet –
By the end I’m dead and you are staring coldly down at me..
And my soul is crying….

WOAH… okay, wayy too deep…
Snap back to reality..
You are starting to sound just a little bit crazy..

Look who is talking –
It’s me to me…

Not the point.

I have now realized and after running out our entire lives (in my head) from this point to the infinite trails this…
Lo..
This ship of relations could take…
And have come to the conclusion that I am not who you need..
or should even want –
It’s not you its me..

And all I am trying to say is…
Do you really like me?

The euphoria is now anxiety,
That I may say or do something to fuck it all up;
Should I have taken that photo, should I have texted you that?
Why is it so hard to stay myself? Because of one stupid little thought…

cause I have thought
rethought
And still don’t see

What the fuck do you see in me?

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